Tuesday, July 18, 2017

no one in charge

in few days before, many things that came out in my mind at the same time
those things just give me some insights

i don't want to make my happiness depend on someone else
not as simple as it seems, just because these whole years i just put the happiness to other person
sometimes it was a pathetic things that i can't put it out of my life
worrying maybe just a waste
hoping everything happens like what you want, is also a waste

no body hang their happiness on me, they create everything to make them happy
jealousy is something that fill the feelings
while other person can happy by their own feet

seems heartless, but actually they are heartless and i am stupid
well stupid is my middle name

Monday, April 24, 2017

long lost things

actually, this issue is an old issue and had already talked many months ago
and already well ended at that time

but, that issue comes again and after all this time, i still hate it
and i still can't do anything and hope everything done like i want
no that's too naive

i'm naive
believe that was ended well and case already close
and i was 'telan bulat-bulat' what he said
all of them i swallow it

and here we go again
i face the same thing (again)
saw someone matters in your life, done something you hate the most
just fall into pieces
everything was fine, just me that was not fine

seeking the truths and fine other good things in them
but seems i'm in the denial stage about these things & him

well, am i too narrow minded for all of these things?
do i have to give them try to accept the things i hate?
idk either