Monday, August 3, 2015

it was (not) easy

so long not to write here
recently, my life is getting busy by the skripsi things
but having this things doesn't make me (us) graduate this year, bcs of that-4-years-regulations
i don't know, maybe it seems study here takes more times than the other
and we have co-ass life after this college life (duh)
when people already busy in the office, maybe me and my friend still stuck in the campus in clinic things
hope that it will end up soon (amiin)

there is something up, make me think and overthink
last week i tried to apply the application for exchange
deep down, i knew that i wouldn't make it
but, people around me tried to convince me that it would be nice even you had tried it, and then let them decide whether you were the one or not because there would be nothing to lose
then, i applied it and still, it was a feeling that i was not qualified for that things
i know it was a pessimistic, but i can measure my capability
next after the submission date, i would be interviewed

i think it was terrible, i always skipped my heart beat and i was really that nervous
and it announced the next 2 hours after the interview
i don't get the chance, but i try not to regret it whatever it takes
yup, i don't regret it but there is something that come over and over again
until now, what i get today is the one that i didn't choose
and what the things that i wanted, i never got it easily
recently, i think maybe my way don't really that straight and easy
and every way that i passed, i passed it with tears not the joy

sometime, i ask to my self, why there is someone that have good way? she/he always get everything she/he wanted

maybe there's something that Allah keep for me, the things that i still don't know and the things that better that i wanted
i always try to believe, that His plans is always the best, insyaAllah

maybe this, what i wrote here useless and bullshit (for you), but the bullshit things sometimes needed in life
why so naive
hope the things will be easier for me, you and the universe